If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
