I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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