Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
