I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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