Apparently you make a good broom.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
