Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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