oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
