just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
