Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
