if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
honey bunches of taint.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
