I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
