Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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