Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
