If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
