Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
