just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
