I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
