They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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