Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I want is dick and wine.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize