called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
