I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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