we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
