so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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