Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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