I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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