im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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