i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
