I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We had sex on a dog bed..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
