I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize