My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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