Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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