So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
