he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize