Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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