butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize