How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
