just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
