I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
