Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
