We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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