Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
