it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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