11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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