the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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