I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
