her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize