he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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