I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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