You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
