i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
