We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
