I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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