Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
is wine microwaveable?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
