At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize