So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Someone came in the potted fern
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
