So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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